funny feeling in my guts tonight - maybe fear of loosing, fear of being abandoned ... it drives me insane, yet at times it can be the reason to hang on and not let go. A lot of pent up emotions has been churning about within likewise a lethal mix of anxiety, frustration and helplessness so to describe such a concoction would be a futile attempt. It is the on set of winter yet again, chill in the air also a sea of memories flood my senses and maybe this is what is causing the distress besides a pointless journey, unsatisfying pursuit absolutely a dead end with no detours. It has become a ritual rather to pretend, happiness and glee... though each time it becomes a much harder task to dawn as the pain and hurt seem to overpower the need to satiate societal musts. My friends were right, sadness and hurt inspires me to write and why not it has been the driving force to understand what life has to offer me as each time it has been a struggle. Struggle to live, survive and just move ahead. Though I have come to understand till now is that to live life simply is the most toughest endeavor.
