About fears and funny feelings ....

funny feeling in my guts tonight - maybe fear of loosing, fear of being abandoned ... it drives me insane, yet at times it can be the reason to hang on and not let go. A lot of pent up emotions has been churning about within likewise a  lethal mix of anxiety, frustration and helplessness so to describe such a concoction would be a futile attempt. It is the on set of winter yet again, chill in the air also a sea of memories flood my senses and maybe this is what is causing the distress besides a pointless journey, unsatisfying pursuit absolutely a dead end with no detours. It has become a ritual rather to pretend, happiness and glee... though each time it becomes a much harder task to dawn as the pain and hurt seem to overpower the need to satiate societal musts. My friends were right, sadness and hurt inspires me to write and why not it has been the driving force to understand what life has to offer me as each time it has been a struggle. Struggle to live, survive and just move ahead. Though I have come to understand till now is that to live life simply is the most toughest endeavor.

~ February ~

February ... month of the seasonal transition .. month that evokes the emotions of nostalgia and reminiscing ... & of love :-)) .. i guess the thought of it brings a smile to many ... it does to me .. it may not have any relevance whatsoever yet for me it stems from memories and emotions of my good ol' days and love that urges me to write something ... been a while now since i havent been able to blog about anything...lack of inspiration i guess and then India Trip happened..meeting with friends and family brought back the warmth and zeal in this mortal self..love is in the air and its getting more and more contagious i guess seeing so many of my frnds getting hitched ! ... :-O .. for a singleton like me love is an everyday phenomena i share with various relations and people ... my mom, sis, adorable nieces, friends, myself ;-)) ! .. n then the rest of the materialistic aspect follows like food, clothes, shoes blah! blah! blah!! ...!!! but isnt it funny that it is just these particularly few odd days that everyone around seems to be walking over the cloud trying to prove/display their love ... actually it is undeniably sweet though...and so this experience is yet to be known and felt but to be a witness of such an intense fervor is a delight...